Saturday, March 29, 2008

Thinking
I've been thinking a lot about life the last few days. I know. Deep.
You see, I had a conversation with a friend the other day that just kind of left me in a stupor. She is one of those ultimate amazing people. We've known each other for a multitude of years (that means a lot) and through all the craziness of teenage life we were able to remain friends. Getting a call from her is like getting a shot of adrenaline! She's such an energetic person!
She was single till last year when she married an awesome guy! I sat and thought of all the things she has accomplished. She learned Russian while we were at Ricks college and lo and behold, ended up serving a mission in Russia. She has multiple degrees and is a certified massage therapist. Not like a massage that you'd get at a day spa...no, a therapist. Meaning she had to learn anatomy and physiology and the medical aspects of massage and its benefits. And she's good at it. She worked with troubled teens at a camp for several years. She started her own organization business and was successful with that. She decided to get certified as a realtor - just so she would know the ins and outs of the business. She has now started speaking at seminars as a motivational speaker. And she's good at that too. She is an accomplished pianist and has an amazing voice. Can one person really be this talented?
And I sat. And I thought... and, as we all know, thoughts can be rather dangerous things...but still, they tumbled into my mind: did I get married to young? Did I start my family too soon? What did I miss out on by getting married at 21 and having a baby at 22? What things could I have accomplished if I had waited? What did I miss out on?
And then it hit me... yes, there were things that I missed out on. And I'm sure that if I sat and thought about it long enough, I could come up with a gargantuan list. But, what would I miss out on while making that list? If I allow myself to wallow (I'm good at wallowing...it's a gift) then I'm missing out on my life now. I can't go back and change things... and I'm not sure if I would... but if I dwell on what might have happened then I miss what's happening now.
Gosh... I sound like a Disney movie...
And so, once again, I am resolving to actually live my life. I'll be back on Monday! I've decided, like Kim, not to blog on the weekends. Just a simple post and then done! So, I'll catch ya on the flip side! Have a great weekend :)

17 comments:

Lauren said...

It is always dangerous for me to think in a "what if" way. But sometimes it gives me breakthroughs and I teach myself important lessons.

Your friend has accomplished so much, but you got to start a family. Such a blessing :)Who knows, maybe she was envious of your family life...ya never know.

Its ok if you sound like a Disney movie, you are amazing, and well...I love disney movies :)

Yvonne said...

Your friend has definitely accomplished a great deal, but so have you--just in a different area. We all are on different paths and have different experiences--that's what makes the world such an amazing place. The best part is those experiences make us who we are, and we share the things we learn with others. I learn when I visit your blog.

Hope you have a great weekend, too.

Cristy said...

Most of my friends didn't get married young and start a family, so I've watched them live out similar lives to the one you described. I will admit I've had many a struggle over it. In the end though, I'm so happy for the choices I've made. Even married you could have chosen not to have a family. I've seen those people too! And yes, they've had "amazing" experiences and developed other talents and traveled, but whose to say what is better? The world says money and accolades and awards are what gives what we do merit. God has told us that our posterity is what is most important. I think if I was single I would be wishing I were married with kids. It is never easy for me to see the "other" side, but I do get great comfort from knowing that I have chosen the path that God would have me chose!

Summer said...

I have passing wonderings about this too as I married at 19. But like you said, wondering a ton doesn't do any good.

diana said...

i'm glad you came to the conclusion you did. you're right, we can't go back. we can only live the life we have now. and i truly believe that one of the most important things we can do in life is to raise a family. it's our mission field. and i believe God places us there because it's important to Him.

Amber said...

I think everyone is different and you made the right decision for you. I was like your friend and didn't get married until I was 30, which was perfect for me. I was not prepared to be a wife and a mother in my 20s but know so many (like you!) who did!

Tracey said...

No regrets, hon. No regrets.

Have a good weekend.

Kimberly said...

I forgot I wasn't going to blog on weekends - I'm such a dork.

I sometimes ponder about the opportunities I missed, but I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn't have grasped the chances when I had them. Now though? Marriage and motherhood are helping me become the kind of woman who, when given the chance, will take the chance. That's a huge deal for someone like me.

Tonya said...

Thinking can be very dangerous but it looks like you came to the right conclusion. Just look at your beautiful children and you'll see what you would have missed if you didn't get married when you did.

P.S. I read the message above this one and I'm so very sorry about your friend. That is so very sad. I will keep you and her family in my prayers.

Adena and Greg said...

No "what if's". That's a game that once you start it's so very hard to quit. When I find myself wishing for some other life than my own and I ask myself if I would give up my most precious blessing (my family) for that other life. The answer is no every time. We can't have it all. But I guarantee the Lord will give us what we need.

kailani said...

I agree. There may be things I'd want to change about my past but if I did, I wouldn't be where I am today.

Bonnie said...

Sometimes it is hard not to look back and think, what if. I have now made a goal for myself not to get caught up in it and to set goals to do the things I can. Education wise anyway. You are a great person too. Remember the grass is always greener. Your friends family will be in my prayers. I can't even imagine how difficult that would be.

Holly said...

When you get a chance, I have something for you on my blog...

Nancy Face said...

I don't blog on the weekend, either! So it's Monday, and here I am! :)

I love to read The Family Proclamation...it is straight from God, and it puts everything in perspective! :)

Your loving hubby and beautiful children are precious...and you are doing GREAT, my friend! :D

Nancy Face said...

I am so sorry about the loss of your sweet friend, and for her family's grief...and yours. I will pray for you all right now. Here's a big hug for you.
(((((Melissa)))))

Jen said...

I'm sorry about your friend, too. That's so sad.

If it's any consolation, I have had similar but opposite thoughts. I could have married my husband at 22, but I went on a mission first. Now I love my little girl so much that I think, "I could have had three kids by now, or at least two and one on the way." But the mission was my choice, so I just have to be happy with that and live my life, too. Great post!

Tausha said...

just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in your thinking or the answers that you came up with. I am with you all the way sister.
I am truly sorry to hear about your friend and her family. i will pray for her and you. I know that death is hard no matter what. So, know that a friend is worried, thinking and praying for you.