Friday, March 21, 2008

Yesterday I read Holly's post about religion and beliefs. I've struggled with some of those topics in the last while. You see... I had a Bishop that I adored. He was amazing... taught me more about Christ and His grace and love than any other person. Then, this man fell away from the church. He wrote an article and, being the idiot that I am, I read it. It claimed that he didn't believe in the church during his time as Bishop. This really hit me hard and kind of shattered my testimony in a lot of ways. I have been in an uphill battle ever since to regain my faith.
Then, I read Kim's post about hiding behind the computer. I do the same thing in a lot of ways. I will look for things to do on the computer just so I don't have to do anything else. It's easy. There's not committment or investment on my part.
The combination of the two posts has made my head swim just a bit.
I find myself doing things out of duty rather than love or respect. And I hide from my duties here on the computer. It's not the greatest combination in the world, I know. It's so much easier to sit here and come up with things to do on the Internet, than it is to go out and do something. And I know I spend too much time on here.
How do I know? Well, a couple of days ago Baby Girl came looking for me. I was not on the computer. I was in the kitchen. She freaked out because she couldn't find me. She thought I had left her... the only place she looked was the computer desk. Yeah...
So tell me - how do you find balance? I get up this morning, turn the computer on and there are 20 posts from the most amazing bloggers in the world. And my heart sinks just a little because I know it will probably take me an hour to read them all. I love you guys and I love reading about your lives... but I have 67 subscriptions in my Google Reader - and I just deleted a bunch that I don't read any more. Not all of those 67 blogs have a new post every day, but a fairly good number of them do. Do any of you read that many blogs? Am I crazy? Do you only read on certain days? Do you skim posts? If I don't read any of them, there will be over 50 posts by the end of the day... That's the average number of posts each day. I'm curious... how do you manage your time on the computer? And how do you decide what blogs you will or will not read? Any and all suggestions would be appreciated...


Jessica said...

I went thru this same thinking during my little "blog break" I decided to set up times that I will allow myself to be on the computer, when that time is over, that's it.......I'll let you know how it goes, so far, day 1, it's great LOL! Ü

Holly said...

I could echo so many of these thoughts. I'm not sure how many subscriptions I have in my google reader, but some days I'll have a hundred plus posts to go through. I've gotten to the point that I can't do it. I skim some and delete others and then feel guilty for not commenting.

I always feel like I need to check the blogs of people who post on mine and I've decided that it's just too many. I have some people that I've really connected with and others that I read more out of obligation.

I know there are blogs that I comment on and I can pretty much guarantee that for whatever reason, those people don't go anywhere near mine. I think I'm going to have to drop my subscription list down because reading other people's blogs has become a burden.

So, to answer your question, I'm going to continue reading the ones I actually feel a connection to, or have gotten to know. The ones that I read out of obligation are going to go the wayside for the moment. I'm struggling with too many issues in my life right now and I can't devote a lot of time to blogging.

Probably TMI, but there you have it!

Heather said...

Oh. I have 70 in my reader but probably half of those don't post everyday. So I usually have about 25 each day. I read all of them but have started comment less frequently. Not because I don't like to, but because I just can't!! Good luck.

Tonya said...

First, I'm sorry about your bishop. That had to be really hard.

Second, it is hard to balance it all on the computer. I just take the time to read when I can. I really don't have all the many that I read on a regular basis so that makes it easier. There are many more that I would like to but I just can't.

Yvonne said...

When I read your comment yesterday on Holly's post about your Bishop, I felt so bad for you. That is such a stinky thing to go through.

I have about 35 blogs I read, and not all of them post every day. Some days I just can't get to all of them, and I think that's o.k.

Like everyone has said, I always read the blogs of people I have connected with.

I just don't want the blogging thing to become a burden or feel like it's an obligation. So I don't venture out too much--there are a lot of things that are just more important ; )

Jamie J said...

I'm kind of going through that too. I feel like I'm addicted to the computer. Today I actually didn't turn the computer on and check my email right when I woke up. I waited until 10:30. YAY! I'm just trying to cut down the meaningless stuff that I do. I don't read everything on my Google reader and I sure as heck don't comment on all of them either so that cuts down some time. I pick and choose but I hate to have posts waiting for me in my reader. I'll usually click on them and then skim them. If they are interesting I'll read and if they are REALLY interesting then I'll comment :) I decided the other day that the only time I would spend on the computer was when Rachel was watching a movie or in bed. Yeah it cuts down on some things I like to do on the internet, but I think it will be better for me and my family in the long run...

Cristy said...

I think everyone who blogs comes to this point eventually. Like some of the others said, I usually have a set time of day that I can do the computer. (During nap time, or at night) I've convinced myself to never feel guilty for not commenting and only do so when I feel like I have something to say on the subject. I think a lot of bloggers feel like they have to comment to get comments. I guess I just don't care if I don't get comments since that's not my motivation for blogging, and that is the key thing; your motivation for blogging. For me, it's a supliment to my personal journaling, and also for my daughters to someday look at. Everything else (the social aspect, back pats, empathizing) is icing on the cake. I've found that since determining Why I blog, I've been able to step back from all the Yuck that it can cause.

Magirk said...

Hey, girl. :) I've been having my own faith crises lately. Especially with all the infertility stuff over the last 5 years. It has really done a number on me, and there are a few other reasons. But I feel like I'm struggling in the dark too sometimes. It definitely is a journey, and there are still (and always?) bumps along the way.

Good luck sorting it all out. I love you, and hope you are able to 'regain' that faith. (I'll be on the journey too!!)

As for reading blogs... I'm struggling with this one too! I only have about 40 blogs total that I keep tabs on. I try to at least read all the posts, but don't always get over to comment. I just dropped some subscriptions this morning, because I'm not sure I can keep reading when the 'relationship' isn't reciprocated, if ya know what I mean!! I just need my time for other things.

I start by looking for posts that are 'easy reads' or those who aren't necessarily my bestest buddies (like Holly said). Thos I'm not too close with, though I am interested in their lives, I try not to spend too much time on (sorry, I know that sounds bad). :( I would just rather keep in touch better with my relationship bloggers, more than just looking for something to read.

Some people it feels like I've clicked with, others... it kinda feels like I've invited myself over and am Peeping Tom-ing on their lives in a way! So I try not to be a weirdo hanging out at their blogs. (Just tell me if you want me to stop reading, will ya!? ha ha)

I always try to get over personally to my closest friends, family, and those I feel I've 'clicked' with while blogging (like you!), to comment. Sometimes I can't - other things are more important. But I try not to go too long without giving a shoutout, so to speak.

I'm going to stop blogging so often, or at least stop trying to doll it up so much with the pictures and stuff.

There are things I really need to write about, that don't seem to be going over well on the blog, so I think I need to spend more time just journalling, where I can just let the thoughts flow freely without worrying whom I'll be offending or who really cares. I'm also considering going private.

LOOOOONG!! Sorry. :S Good luck!

Summer said...

Struggling with some of the same issues over here too. Sorry, I haven't found any answers of my own yet.

Thalia's Child said...

Sometimes it takes me allllll day, I agree it's tough.

And sometimes I just can't make a comment.

Bonnie said...

I'm new to this thing so I don't have anywhere near that many comments or blogs to read. I also only read blogs that connect with me personally. Only with ones,that help make me a better person.
I read yours faithfully. You are a good person.

Nancy Face said...

The most important thing I can say is this...sometimes people let us down, but our Savior will NEVER let us down. He will never disappoint or forsake us. His love is always there for us. :)

The blogs I read the most often are the ones I receive comments from! I don't go to every blog every day...sometimes it's only a couple times a week...but when I do visit, I try to read more than one post to catch up! Even so, it takes a lot of time! :0

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I love channeling my weird thoughts into a tangible piece of writing but I hate how much time it takes. Lately, I just comment back on people who have commented on my blog. If I don't make the rounds, I feel guilty. I know. Guilt. I should be feeling guilty that I work too many jobs, have a messy house, and don't spend enough fun time with my kids and not guilty over this blog addiction, but there it is.

Oh, and I almost never read over-the-top dramatic blogs where there's always some crisis or self-loathing pathos going on. It's not that I don't care, it's just that life is draining enough. Mostly, I want to partake in light-minded stuff when I read.

Lauren said...

Since my life right now is mostly centered on myself because I don't have a family I need to care for, it is easier for me to justify being on the computer a lot. But, I do have school work and I spend a lot of time with Ted since we are "courting".

I haven't counted how many people I read, but I used to read more. I decided that I only read blogs of people that actually comment to me, and have an interest in my life. I also only read blogs that inspire me, make me laugh or make me happy. You never need to feel obligated to read someone's blog. Do it because you find enjoyment, then there won't be guilt. Everyone needs enjoyment in life :)

JustRandi said...

Melissa, I'm struggling a bit with this myself.
It's hard to find the balance, isn't it?

Amber said...

It's so easy to get sucked in. I usually blog early in the morning or late at night (like now) when the kids are in bed. I also cut down on the amount of times I blog and allot myself a couple of times a week to go and read all my favorite blogs. That way, it doesn't suck all my time!

Tausha said...

I think that life takes balance. Balance with your kids, your husband, your callings, your volunteering at your kids school, the list goes on and on. I feel that when we mom's lost balance on any two things, it throws every thing else off. So, i guess what i am trying to say is, is pray for balance. He will help, understand and most improtantly, give you the knowledge that you need so you can feel that balance again. Listen to your heart, it wont steer you wrong. Like Bonnie said, YOU are a good person-Always remember that.

diana said...

i feel lucky because i have more free time than most (2 older kids and stay at home mom), but i am still concerned with how much time i spend on my computer.

i think a lot of bloggers are struggling with this. i've lost about 10 close blogging friends in the last few months because they felt that they no longer had the time to blog. i understand but it also makes me sad because i had "connected" with them.

i used to read and comment every post on my reader on a daily basis(around 50 blogs), but have become more laxed with it all. i usually still read every post but maybe don't get to them for a couple of days. it helps that i'm a night owl and this is when i do a lot of my reading and commenting.

i do agree with the comment above mine - it is all about balance.

Jean Knee said...

Balance is so hard. I think many stay at home moms blog as a way to connect with other adults. But if you find yourself too overwhelmed, cut back. Do not feel obligated. If someone stops reading your blog will you be crushed? No? well it works both ways.

Carrot Jello said...

Just say no.
Or just say, their blog is nice, but I just cannot add anymore to read.
Then decide that you don't have to comment on comments left on your blog. After that, decide to read (or skim) a couple, then go do something else. CLean, play with your kids, take a nap, read your scriptures, pray.
They're not going anywhere. I swear. Those posts don't move. When you have time, they'll be there.
People who like you, will still like you whether or not you read their blog, or leave them comments. Sometimes it's nice to be distracted by blogs, but sometimes you have to deal with real life.
I suggest cutting down your list of 67 blogs to half of that.
What do you need from these blogs that you're not getting in real life?
Decorating tips?
Wishing you were them?
Start today to be the person you want to be, and most of those 67 blogs won't be hanging around anymore.

Jen said...

One suggestion that made that changed my life is to spend 15 minutes a day de-cluttering one area (like a desk, a countertop, cleaning a bathroom, etc.). I feel so much better, and it's not a difficult thing to find 15 minutes. Maybe you could try doing a kids book with each kid before you get on the computer. I just love that principle. I use it when I feel like I'm getting to immersed in the blogosphere.

You can do it!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Wow, Carrot and Jean Knee are all-knowing and wise. :)