Mejojac's Memos

Oh the Noise!
I'm still not feeling real great... but I'm awake. Why am I awake? Well because of the parties, of course! My neighbors right next door have been carrying on a VERY loud conversation for the last while. Anyone interested in a transcript? I could provide a word for word run down if you'd like.
And then we have the battle of the bands going on somewhere else in the neighborhood. Someone has a live band in their backyard for the festivities. Someone else has a pretty amazing sound system with a stack of loud obnoxious music for their party. When one song gets a little louder than the other, then they CRANK up the volume on the other song so that it's louder than the first. It goes back and forth and back and forth like this... I fully expect the windows in my home to shatter at any moment. I can hear them vibrating.
Also, we are unplugging our phones. Why, you ask? Well, let me tell you. We live in a gated community. If you don't have a little clicker thing (think garage door opener) to open the gate you have to stop at a kiosk sort of thing and enter a code. If you don't have a code you have to call a home in the community through the little kiosk thing and ask them to ring you in. Somehow we have the great misfortune of being at the top of the list on the kiosk. So, on EVERY major holiday and most weekends we get phone calls in the middle of the night from drunk people who can't remember their codes and so they call the first number they find: ours. If I answer, I won't open it. Hubby will. He's kind to those in need - even if those needs are self inflicted. I, on the other hand, hope that they puke on themselves waiting for someone to open the gate. But not tonight... I'm unplugging the phone and that's will be the end of that. So, if you need to contact me between 12:30 and about 7:30 AM (Pacific time), you're out of luck. Please hang up and dial again!
I hope your New Years Celebrations were wonderful and that you don't have neighbors like mine.... unless, you are the neighbors that are partying it up. Then, all I have to say to you is: SHUT UP AND GO TO BED! IF YOU WAKE MY KIDS UP AGAIN I'M GONNA START THROWING THINGS AT YOU*! HEAVY THINGS**, FOLLOWED BY SHARP THINGS***, FOLLOWED BY HEAVY SHARP THINGS****!!!
Just call me the New Year's Grinch. Now, I'm going to try and sleep. I'm going to set up fans in my kids rooms to create some "white noise" and hopefully they will get back to sleep through all the commotion. Then I'll try to sleep myself. If my attempts at sleep fail then I'll start making an account of all heavy, sharp objects in my home*****.
Happy New Year!
* I throw like a girl... thus, any object that I tried to throw would never hit the mark
** I am weak. I can barely lift heavy things, let alone throw them.
*** I am clumsy. I wouldn't throw sharp things for fear of hurting myself.
**** Please see the last two statements on this subject.
***** No neighbors were harmed in the making of this post. Oh, and by the way, if you don't understand the sarcasm of a tired, sick, annoyed momma, please find another blog to read. Again, Happy New Year!