The Secret
I have a secret. It's my blog. I have not told any of my friends or family that I am doing this. My dh doesn't know. Not that it's some big secret. It's not like I'm writing anything bad or posting pictures that I shouldn't be (not that I have any pictures like that anyway). I'm not sure why I don't want to tell them. Maybe I'm afraid that they will think I'm silly. And in a way, I am. I write about marshmallow peeps on here! Can it get sillier than that? Well, I'm sure it can, but that's for another blog entry. Maybe I'm worried that they will be critical. Of course, I've never worried about that before. I already know that they think I'm weird, so that's not an issue. Perhaps I have some Freudian fear of rejection. If they don't like what I write, that must mean that they don't like me. But really, I think it's just fun to have a little secret. There's a little thrill about knowing something that others don't. It gives me something to look forward to each day. Something that is just mine. My spot. So, I'm going to keep my little secret for a little longer. Maybe someday I'll share my writings with them. But, till then, I have a secret!

O Christmas Tree
I love to decorate the Christmas tree. And usually, I have a theme that I stick to. The kids and my dh love to have the totally random look for the tree. The ornaments that don't match. The pieces of paper that were glued together and then glitter thrown on them so that they look like... well, I'm not sure what they are supposed to be. But the kids made them at school and they want them on the tree. It's not that I don't love their creativity, but I like the look of a well put together tree. But, this year, I'm giving in. I usually use white lights on the tree for that more uniformed look. We have got the colored lights up. I took some of my matching ornaments from last year and put them in baskets around the house. This year, the tree is gonna be about glitter, and paper, and having that wonderful homemade look to it. And you know, there will be PLENTY of years for my precious tree to look just the way I want. But it won't be too many more years before the kids will be too busy to help decorate and they won't care how the tree looks. So, I'm putting down my icicle sword used to protect that perfect tree, and I'm gonna relax and enjoy my kids while they enjoy our tree.

The Day After
Shopping on the day after Thanksgiving has always been a tradition. I'm not the cut throat kind of gal who will kill for that last Barbie, but I do like to get a good deal! But, this last weekend, I found out what it's like to have the one item that everyone wants. And I'm not sure I liked it. My Dad wants a GPS for Christmas. So, my mom, myself, and all my siblings went in together to get him one. Mom and I got up early and went to Sportsman Warehouse to pick up a GPS that was on a wonderful sale! It didn't open till 8 a.m. and apparently everyone decided to go there last. When we got there at 7:30, we were the first in line. A few minutes later there were 100+ people in line. I could hear people talking in line "I HAVE to get that GPS"... "I'm gonna be TICKED if I don't get one" (these comments may be edited for content :)) When the doors opened I ran in. I have no idea where my Mom went. I ran up to the guy and told him what I wanted. He reached down and grabbed one. While he was getting the right one a girl ran up, shouldered her way in front of me and said, "Hey - help me now! I need the GPS thing!" But the guy handed the first one to me. As he was handing it out, some guy next to me reached for it! Then the employee realized that he hadn't taken a tag off of it, so asked for it back. As I was handing it back, someone else said "I'll take it!" and tried to grab it. I reached out and took it back as soon as I could! Then I made my way out of the crowd as everyone watched me so closely that I felt a tad afraid... hearing comments like "Look - she got one!" didn't really help my unease. I found my mom and we ran to the front. There were only about 10-15 GPS units back there and I had one. I was not going to be the lead story for the 5 o'clock news! We paid for it and got out of there quick! I know that I wasn't in any danger, but it was still a little frightening to be in that situation... of course, this won't stop me. I will be out again next year! Watch for me, I'll be the girl with the GPS running for cover!

The Addiction
I think I may have an addiction. It started out as something so simple, so small. Now, I think I just may be out of control. They're out there... every holiday they show up and I devour them at every chance. Marshmallow Peeps! They make ghost and pumpkin ones for Halloween. Christmas trees and snowmen for the winter holidays. Hearts for Valentines day. And then the original for Easter, the chicks and bunnies. I ate a box of snowmen for breakfast the other day. When I was done, I wanted more! I steal the chicks and bunnies from my children's baskets at Easter time. I wish there were more holidays where we celebrated with candy! Wouldn't a flag shaped peep be cute? And delicious? I forgot to get some today. I had too many other things on my mind. And now, I'm in withdrawal. I need more peeps! It's a good thing that WalMart is open 24 hours a day. I may have to make a midnight run to appease the monster within.

Children's Museum
I am taking my kids to the local Children's Museum. I don't know why, but I always think of an old Twilight Zone episode when I hear "Children's Museum". It was a story about a young boy who got an invitation to go to a zoo or museum type of a thing. His parent's were pretty ornery to him, but he talked them into going. When they got there the parents went to the left and the boy went to the right. The parents were then put into a cage. The boy was then allowed to walk down a long row of cages with different parents in them and pick out new parents! I wonder what my kids would do? Do they feel that they would like to trade me in for a different mom? Are my DH and I too hard on the kids? Will they look back on their childhood as a happy thing? I hope that I'm doing okay. I'm sure there are times they would like to send me packing. Of course, there are times when I wonder, "What was I thinking having kids???" But, I think, in the end, all of us are fairly happy. I love my kids and try to do what is best for them. And hopefully, that will be enough.

Painting
I think I have a painting addiction. We had our own home for 2 years and almost every room was painted before we moved. Now, we are renting. I can't paint the walls in this house. So, I've moved onto furniture! I just finished my first piece the other day and I loved it! I want to paint everything now! I told my dh that my next task is dd's bedframe, bookshelf and dresser. I also have a little table in her room that I might redo. I'd love to do a fun mosaic on the top, but that may be a bit much for a 3 year old's room! I think that I love to paint because I love to see transformation. Taking something that didn't look so great and making it into something wonderful again! I still can't get this program to upload pictures or I would share my latest things. Maybe I'll get it to work tomorrow. Tonight, I think I'll start sanding something so that I can paint again tomorrow!

Weather Blues
You'd think that moving to California would cure anyone's winter weather blues. But, I've decided that I must have the opposite problem from those that suffer from depression caused by lack of sun. I live in Southern California - the area where I'm at gets sunshine almost every day of the year. Most people would be in heaven... not me. I wake up each morning and wish for a cloudy sky or a little rain. I love the smell of rain. And that chill in the air is a wonderful feeling to me. It is strange to me to live in a place where there are no seasons. All the people around me say that fall is almost over... but I don't remember seeing any leaves change. No crisp autumn air. No fall harvest. It's still in the mid to upper 80's here. That's called "summer" where I'm from. And winter gets down into the 70's here. That's still called "summer". Maybe I'm crazy, but I am looking forward to my trip home. There is snow on the ground, the high for the day was 40, and when they say "winter" they mean it!

The Plan
I try to have a plan for each day. I want to get up, do some email, get a few things done online and then tackle a project around the house. The problem is, I have children. Kids don't believe in plans. They believe in running wild and doing the first thing that pops into their head. Spontaneous action fills their lives. I remember a time when I was more spontaneous. I loved to get and idea and just do it. No planning, not figuring out schedules, no making lists. I would just get up and go. At times, it was a bit chaotic, but always fun. But now, I wonder, is loosing your spontaneity a sign of aging? Do we need more stability? Do our plans make us feel more in control, when in reality, we are at the mercy of the universe? Can that get up and go feeling ever be restored? Maybe I will try to do something spontaneous tomorrow (I have a sick little one today)... hmm... first I'll need to make a list...

I've been thinking about going back to school. I don't know what I would take though. I just want to take a class here and there. Not necessairly get a degree. There is a community college close by. I have checked into their classes and there are a few that I would like to take. But it's hard. Does anyone else have a hard time spending money on themselves? I can spend like crazy for my kids or my dh... but when it comes to putting down some cold hard cash for myself, it's almost impossible! I can't remember the last item of clothing that I bought that wasn't at a yard sale, a second hand store, or on clearance at Wal-Mart. I guess it goes hand in hand with what I was talking about before. I don't spend enough time or money on myself. I have put myself last for so long that I'm not sure how to change that. Maybe I'll go to the mall and splurge... one of these days :)

Good morning again :) What a day we had yesterday. I had sick kids and was not feeling well myself. I know, poor me. It is hard when my 6 year old is sick though. He has autism and can not talk yet. He had really high fevers - which can indicate all sorts of problems. We have no idea what is wrong. It is one thing to have a child that can say "My ______ hurts", but it's a totally different story with my son, J. It's almost like still having an infant. But he is an amazing kid. His smile lights up a room. When he was little, everyone said he looked like a Precious Moments doll. I know every parent says their child is adorable, but he really did look like one of the Precious moment kids. I love my kids. There are times when they make me scream, but I do love them so much. I remember a friend took off for a week. Her kids stayed home with Dad and other family. When she came back she told me that she could now be a better mom. I didn't understand at the time, but I'm starting to. I am like every other mom out there - kids first always. And that is the way it should be. But, that doesn't mean I should be neglectful of myself. It's a hard thing to remember. And and even harder thing to do. I always tell myself, "Maybe tomorrow or next week or when the kids get older". But, I've decided to take a day off. We are going to Idaho for Thanksgiving. My dh is going to take the kids to his parents house and I'm going to go stay with my family for a night. I know it's just one night, but it will be a wonderful night! We are going to watch movies that night and then be totally insane and drag ourselves out of bed the next day to shop till we drop at 5 am! I think we are going to go out for breakfast and lunch. I love to shop and I love finding a good deal. I'm not one to draw blood for that last Barbie on the shelf though. Not cut-throat. Just enjoy getting out! Wish me luck :)

Good morning - I'm new to this blogging thing, so we are just trying this out for a little bit and see how it goes. So, welcome to "My Spot". I'm feel odd... I'm not necessarily writing to anyone, yet, there is always the possibility of someone reading this. Not sure who. Maybe it will just generate spam posts. Who knows? Just a little about myself - I'm living in Southern California with my family. We are pretty laid back. Nothing too exciting. I'm a stay at home mom to my 3 kids. It's a great job, just wish the hours were more flexible ;) We moved here about 2 months ago. Still a lot of adjusting, but hopefully we will get used to everything here soon. I love to cook and sew, but I'm not very good at either one. I'm trying to become a decorating diva, but it's pretty slow going. Well, enough about me for today... maybe more tomorrow.