Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Mom vs. Maid
Do you ever sit down and wonder what your purpose is? I have the last few days... what am I meant to accomplish with my life? To cleanse and fold mountains of laundry over and over and over again? To wash dishes? Scrub floors? General cleaning of the home on a regular basis? Am I nothing more than a maid? I suppose not.
I'm also a nanny.
I get to deal with the tantrums, the constant string of "I'm bored" (even though I've given a long list of activities to occupy their time), the whining, the screaming, the messes, and the general craziness that often comes with having kids.
Now, I know I chose this life. I want to be a stay at home mom. But it doesn't mean I always like it. I understand that being a mom is a wonderful thing, but at times, I don't feel wonderful. I feel like an unpaid servant. I know that part of my problem is that I'm a reward driven person. And some days? Well, there just isn't a reward to be found.
And so I turn to you: how do you find the strength to keep getting up each day and doing the same thing over and over? How do you find the reward within your day? What do you do to keep the monotony away?
P.S. Please ignore all spelling errors... my spell check isn't working... again...

14 comments:

Bonnie the Boss said...

Dang it, I was hoping for a bunch of great ideas. I feel the same way you do 99% of the time. I didn't make the same connection about being a reward driven person. You taught me something today.
Maybe we need to reward ourselves for the little everyday things. Something besides chocolate, it isn't working out so well for my hips and thighs.

Kimberly said...

When I get feeling this way (like I soooo have been lately), I read the Anne books...the later ones. Reenergizes me somehow.

Also, I no longer fold laundry. I put it right side out and sort it, then lay it neatly in drawers. The kids just unfold it all when I'm not looking anyway. Saves me so much time!

sariqd said...

Um... maybe it's just me but I just REALLY look forward to the 2.75 hours that I get to MYSELF every day. I don't really look forward to those "hallmark" moments so much anymore. Wow, I'm really jaded these days. Oops. Guess I need to work on that.

Yvonne said...

I sure don't have any ideas. Wish I did. I'm so grateful that I get to be a SAHM--maybe because I haven't always been, that's reward enough for me. Is there still monotony--YOU BET! Are there still days that I feel like an unpaid servant--DEFINITELY. But, I wouldn't trade it for anything--and I guess that's what keeps me going ; )

I just want you to know I THINK YOU ARE DOING AN AMAZING JOB.

Christy said...

I hear ya... This week has been really hard, but school starts on Monday, so that's what is keeping me going!!!

Jodi said...

Oh yes, the summertime blues. The days when you can't seem to accomplish anything other than following your kids around picking up after them, or yelling at them to do it. Take solace in knowing that school will start before you know it! YEAH!! One thing that I have done this year is given them more chores, and also more allowance to make up for it. One of my biggest fears is that I'm not teaching my kids to work or to realize all that goes into running a household. Also, each day I try accomplish something other than the hum-drum-everyday-chores, even if I have to skip dishes to do it. Then at the end of the day I can feel like I accomplished something. Like today I'm going to try to finish the exterior painting that we started last fall. It's gonna feel good. And if it doesn't, I'll eat some chocolate.

Cristy said...

Ugh... I soooo feel this way, especially right now being pregnant! What is even more frustrating for me is that while being pregnant their isn't much I can do about it. When I'm not huge and vomity, I recommend getting out, even with the kids. Put the house on hold and go to the park or spur of the moment ice cream, and take a picture of it so that in retrospect it looked like you were having fun, even if your screaming inside. And exercise. Right now I can't and it drives me crazy. I always feel better when I can exercise.

dandelionmama said...

Everyday I wonder. I AM the human napkin. And I blog. To stay sane.

Heather said...

Yeah, I'm no help either.

Maybe I'm a lazy mom, but I totally have my kids help me with chores so I can play too. HEY, I like Mario Party 8 & swimming just as much as they do!

JustRandi said...

My mom used to have us all work together in the morning so we could all play together in the afternoon.
Sometimes that works for me, but shamefully, sometimes I just need more alone time than that.

You're doing a great job, Melissa. You can do it. School is just around the corner.

Tammy and Parker said...

Oh. Man. This is so me. I get so tired of cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.

And to make it worse I have teenagers. Who are totally convinced that their lives are way too important to waste in the trenches of manual labor.

I blog. I try to have some kind of project going that when completed lasts more than 30 seconds.

diana said...

i think it got a lot harder. society has made it so our kids feel like they need to be constantly entertained. that makes it so hard on the mom who has devoted this time of her life to stay home and take care of them and the house.

i used to break the day down into block segments. one we would all do some kind of cleaning or picking up or folding laundry - or whatever. i'd try to make it fun for them. and once we completed our tasks or got through the hour (or whatever time period), we got to do play or do something along those lines.

there was a period of rest, a period of reading, a period of alone time, a period for all of us to play a game together, and on and on. each day might have looked different but with the blocks, the kids knew what to expect and yet it gave enough free time for me and for them to figure out how to entertain themselves.

it may not work for everyone, but it helped me keep my sanity.

Nancy Face said...

I'm sorry I'm no help at all! I'm leaving for Girls' Camp in the morning, and between getting ready for that and working on the wedding, I've pretty much quit doing housework. I kind of miss my maid (me)! :S

Holly said...

I don't have any great answers either. I feel like this often, but I've really felt it this summer. I don't want to go back to work, but being home is often a thankless job. I do miss the professional satisfaction of being acknowledged for being good at something, like I was when I worked outside my home.

When the boys are in school, I can actually have my house look like I care about it! That doesn't happen much during the summer. I also miss the "me" time I get when they're at school.