Tuesday, July 08, 2008

It's Not Easy Being Green
I know that being green is a good thing. We recycle, turn our thermostat to 81 during the day, yell at the offspring to turn off lights, shut doors and close the refrigerator. I'm doing my part but, I'm not an extremist. For example: I've never chained myself to a tree that was about to be cut down. I don't belong to E.L.F. (Earth Liberation Front). And, I'm not as extreme as the women who have decided not to have kids because children aren't "eco-friendly". I won't be following in any of those carbon-less footsteps any time soon. Why? Well, let me tell you ...
Reason #1 - I don't own any chains. The strongest material I own is yarn... perhaps I could crochet myself to the tree... would that work?
Reason #2 - I don't look good in hats. Especially Elf hats. And I have never been able to use spray paint without it dribbling all over the place. I'm seriously lacking in graffiti skillz.
Reason #3 - I already have kids. The only way to really change that would probably land me in jail for 3 life sentences. So, you know, I'll just keep them around for now.
Reason #4 - I've found a better solution! Yep - I know how to go green without attaching myself to a redwood, blowing things up to send a message, or reducing the size of our family. My idea? Stop doing all housework.
Just think about it for a minute...

Laundry: The average washing machine uses 22 gallons of water for each load. On average, I do
6-8 batches each week. That's 132-176 gallons of water each week! And then you have the energy to run the washer and dryer.

Dishes: Again, the average dish washer uses 9-12 gallons. We do at least one batch a day... which adds up to 63-84 gallons each week. And then there's the electricity to run the machine. I know I could do them by hand, but that's an average of 20 gallons of water each time.

Cleaning the bathroom: I have to have the lights on to see all the filth in there. Plus, all the chemicals I dump everywhere so that the creatures lurking in the nooks and crannies will die. And then, there's the water used to wash those chemicals down the drain.

These are just a few examples. But I think you get the gist of the idea. We should all try to do our best to take care of our planet.
If you've got chains and a local tree to strap yourself to, go for it.
If you think burning things to the ground will make a point, well, um, go see a psychiatrist.
If you're going to get rid of your children, I'll send you cookies while you sit in jail.
But really, I think the no housework plan is a viable option. So, put down that mop. Throw away your cleaning supplies. Forget about the laundry. And do your part to save Mother Earth!

20 comments:

The Morris Fam said...

So my laziness is really helping the earth huh!!?? I feel much better!

Yvonne said...

GREAT IDEA!!!

You are so cute ; )

Cristy said...

Ha! Perfect! I've got to say Ive been raised in a family that doesn't litter, recycles, and does their best. But I've never wanted to own a truck more than now when so many people are judging my lifestyle!!!

Jodi said...

You know, just as I was sitting down to my computer I was thinking about how my house needs a scrub-down, and I was plotting my day so that would happen. But now I have a new perspective. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You saved me from several hours of misery. Now if you could just talk me out of going running....

Also--notice TWO DAYS of commenting in a row! Yes, I'm dealing with my lurking problem.

Anonymous said...

I want to be this shade of GREEN!!! lol :o)

Christy said...

You are a GENIOUS! Thanks for sharing this wonderful idea! Now if I could just get past the rotting water smell coming from a dish I set to soak two days ago, we could all be happy!

Kimberly said...

Children aren't eco-friendly? Umm..what?!

Brilliant post! I giggled muchly at the end there. I'm going to not mop today in honor of you.

Tracey said...

Heh. I'm greener than I thought!!

Truth be told, I don't honestly use many cleaning products. Just water with a bit of soap (sometimes). Occasionally some generic Windex...

;)

diana said...

hey, i think i could give 'going green' a try. atleast for a while, before the piles of dirty clothes and dust bunnies drove me to insanity =)

Jumbo Shrimp said...

Hallelujah! Something I can finally do! Great idea! LOL

Tammy and Parker said...

Okay. You've totally convinced me.

Since Parker's little body doesn't process heat well, we have to keep our house a bit cooler in the summer.
But oy! the electric bills!

Magirk said...

Hee hee! :-D I'd say I'm on board with you, but, I'm not really that eco-friendly myself!

I care about the earth and try to do my little part here and there, but I'm no fanatic - unless there's cheesecake involved....

JustRandi said...

I'm completely convinced!!
Wow, who knew going green could be this much fun?

Tonya said...

Now that is my idea of going green. Count me in!! Great post!!

Nancy Face said...

Your ideas blow all the other ones right out of the water! YAY! :D

Jean Knee said...

I'm in!

don't tell Father Al

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I'm building up my family's immunity to germs by not keeping a super clean and sterile house. That makes me a good mom, right?

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

TMI TIME:
I pee all day, everyday. I don't flush every single time because that seems silly when I have my own bathroom that I only share with Papi and I'm peeing so much. I'm conserving water.

Papi thinks this is the most disgusting thing ever!

You know if its yellow, let it mellow. If its brown, flush it down. I totally adhere to that rule of law!

wynne said...

Wait--E.L.F. use spray paint to graffiti earth-awareness messages?

Don't they KNOW how bad spray paint is for the environment?

Does Santa know what they're doing behind his back?

Bonnie the Boss said...

Ooh, ooh, I'm here don't leave without me I want to get on the greatest green train ever!
Do you think my hubby and the neighbors will accept this excuse?