So, yesterday was not the greatest day. Not only did I struggle with my worth as a mother and stay at home mom, I also had to deal with a good friend moving away. I have other friends here, but not like her. She would go on crazy shopping trips with me, go out to lunch or dinner, swap babysitting, and come over and visit while the kids played. And now she's in Utah. And I'm here. And the only thing I can think is "Crap".
Why "crap"? Well, first of all, because my friend is gone. And I'm going to miss her! And second - because a search must now begin. I don't function well without a good girlfriend or two that I can just hang out with. And so, I must put myself out in the scary world again. I have to invite people over, attempt to find common interests, and try to find someone who thinks I'm kinda quirky and fun rather than sarcastic and obnoxious. It's a tall order... one that I seem to have trouble filling down here. Don't get me wrong, there are some really amazing people here... but I'm not sure that they always get my sense of humor. There are a lot of awkward silences when I attempt to be funny. Sigh.
You'd think that after all the moves I've had, I'd be an old pro at making friends. For some reason, this stage of the game is always hard for me. I have a hard time putting myself out there hoping that someone will think I'm worth the time to get to know. I've attempted to make friends with people before and have been snubbed. It's frustrating and rather deflating to one's ego. But, I suppose I'll try again...
And so, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to plot and plan a way to trick another unsuspecting person into being my friend. Cross your fingers for me!