Thursday, July 24, 2008

Crap
So, yesterday was not the greatest day. Not only did I struggle with my worth as a mother and stay at home mom, I also had to deal with a good friend moving away. I have other friends here, but not like her. She would go on crazy shopping trips with me, go out to lunch or dinner, swap babysitting, and come over and visit while the kids played. And now she's in Utah. And I'm here. And the only thing I can think is "Crap".
Why "crap"? Well, first of all, because my friend is gone. And I'm going to miss her! And second - because a search must now begin. I don't function well without a good girlfriend or two that I can just hang out with. And so, I must put myself out in the scary world again. I have to invite people over, attempt to find common interests, and try to find someone who thinks I'm kinda quirky and fun rather than sarcastic and obnoxious. It's a tall order... one that I seem to have trouble filling down here. Don't get me wrong, there are some really amazing people here... but I'm not sure that they always get my sense of humor. There are a lot of awkward silences when I attempt to be funny. Sigh.
You'd think that after all the moves I've had, I'd be an old pro at making friends. For some reason, this stage of the game is always hard for me. I have a hard time putting myself out there hoping that someone will think I'm worth the time to get to know. I've attempted to make friends with people before and have been snubbed. It's frustrating and rather deflating to one's ego. But, I suppose I'll try again...
And so, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to plot and plan a way to trick another unsuspecting person into being my friend. Cross your fingers for me!

10 comments:

Kimberly said...

Yay for trying again! A good friend is always worth the effort it takes to find her.

Pezlady said...

Your post is EXACTLY what I picture me being like or how I will manage if my BFF ever moves away. She has mentioned a few times over the years that they might for employment purposes. I hope they don't because I will be all alone and that will suck. I feel for you...I really do.

Yvonne said...

I'm sorry. You are such a wonderful person--I don't think I need to cross my fingers, there will be a great person out there and you will click and a wonderful friendship will begin. I just know it.

As Kimberly said--a good friend is worth it.

flip flop mama said...

I'd be your friend if you lived closer! Good luck!

Heather said...

Man that stinks.... good luck on the hunt!

VeRonda said...

Hilarious... even in your sadness! Okay, here's the deal, consider taking the posture that they (whoever they are) will be excited to be your friend b/c your friendship is awesome. Hey, nothing beats a try.

Heather said...

How about I move closer and we can be friends...is that allowed! Good luck with the "tricking" people...maybe I should do that! My friend is also moving to UT. Maybe we should hate Utah together!

Nancy Face said...

I'm sorry your good friend moved! I hope you can find another "kindred spirit" to have fun hanging out with! :)

I wouldn't give you awkward silences when you attempt to be funny. My jokes are completely lame (just ask my family!), so I'm pretty easy to please, haha! :)

diana said...

i think it's hard to find good friends. and then a long time before they can become bestest friends. my advice... just be yourself and let it happen naturally.

Holly said...

I have 4 really good, BFFs (known each other since childhood or college). None of whom live in Idaho: two are in California, one in Utah and one in China.

We've been in Idaho for 3 years, and while I've met people and can call some "friend", there really isn't a bosom friend I feel comfortable calling or doing "fun" things with, and no one calls me, that's for sure. I've really missed having a friend I didn't need to start over with. And, I've come to realize that I don't make friends easily anyway. It's very hard for me to open up to new people.

Finger crossed for you!