I haven't posted twice in one day for a long time. I just had to get this out of my head and onto ...um... the screen. I was going to say "onto paper" but, uh, that doesn't really work, now does it?
I was sitting here at my computer having a little pity party for myself over something really stupid. When I say "really stupid" I mean REALLY STUPID. I pulled up my blog and turned my play list on hoping that the music would put me in a better mood.
"Stand" by Rascal Flatts came on. This was one of the songs that I listened to this last spring when my friend passed away. It hit me like a ton of bricks: this will be their first holiday season without her. I think of her four boys and her husband and suddenly the stupidity of my own insignificant problem is intensified.
I have so much to be thankful for. I'm not going to waste any more time feeling sorry for myself. It's not worth it. None of us know how long we will have on this earth. Can we really afford to use our time worrying about our own little problems? There are too many out there who need us. Starting with our families.
It's so easy for me to hide behind my computer. To answer my kids questions as I clickty clack on my lovely little keyboard. I've buried myself in my writing. The characters in my story have become more important than the people in my life. I look at my kids and wonder, "What will they remember?"
Will they remember the times I do play with them? Probably not. Because those times are short and not often enough. Will they remember me sitting at the computer or reading books? Probably. Why? Because that's what they see me do. This is not what I want my kids to think back on and recall.
I know this is a rambling post. My emotions are all jumbled up and I feel a tad overwhelmed at the moment. Hopefully as I get my priorities straight, my feelings will sort themselves out.
If you think about it, would you pray for the Gasaway family? I'm sure they could use it about right now.