I Lied
My guilt floweth over this evening. You see, I told Baby Girl a lie and even though I felt justified at the time, now I feel a little bad. But I really didn't have a choice... let me explain. Hubby went out and got all the stuff for our Halloween Trunk or Treat from the garage. While he was out there he moved some boxes that were very strategically placed. As in: hiding Christmas presents strategically placed. He forgot to put them back in their special places. So, when Baby Girl and I ran some errands she saw it.
Baby Girl - :::GASP::: What is that?
Me - What is what?
BG- Is that a kitchen?? Is that a kitchen for ME??
Me - :::muttering::: Crud.... Um no. That's not a kitchen. It's an empty box. There's nothing in it.
She burst into tears. When I got a chance I went out and re-hid the box, but she's got a good memory in that sweet little head of hers. The next time we went out...
BG - Where is that kitchen?
Me - Baby Girl, remember? It was an empty box. I threw it away.
BG - You threw away MY KITCHEN??
SIGH. More tears and sobbing about how she will "NEVER EVER GET A KITCHEN". Like I said, I feel justified in my actions, but is a Christmas present something to lie about to my kid? Although if I had told her the truth she would have wanted it RIGHT NOW. And what was I supposed to say?? "Yes Baby, that's your Christmas present. But you have to wait another month and a half before you can have it. Okay?" Yeah.
So - the hard question - do you lie to your kids about things? The more I've thought about this, the more I see where I tell my kids little white lies on various occasions. How can I expect them to be truthful with me if I'm not truthful with them? Perhaps I should continue pondering this when the sun comes up. But really, are there times when it's okay to lie/trick your kids??
15 comments:
aw melissa, that is a really tough one. i know you're a good mommy and will figure it out. you're right though, kids don't come with instruction manuals (or manuals for kid 1, kid 2, kid ...). hardest job ever and then they turn into ungrateful teens. uggghhh! it will be okay. follow your instinct and i gotta say ... and don't beat me up for this ... did you think to pray? happy friday good mommy, kathleen :)
I can't say I have the answer for you but I can say I would have done the same thing.
I probably would have done the same thing...
I would have done the same thing. The only time I've really lied to my kids was in protection of gift-y secrets...and I did it many times...I'm talking REALLY creative whoppers of gift-y lies!
I know I would have done exactly what you did!!! How else could you get around it?
That is a tough delima. I have tried to be honest with my children about everything. I don't know what I would of done in that situation. Yikes!
I also wanted to thank you for giving away the beautiful bag that you made. I Love it! I wrote about it on my blog if you want to take a trip over there. Thanks again! :)
I'm with everyone else. I would have done the same thing. I don't make it a practice to lie either, but otherwise she'd either wrangle the toy out of you now or hound you for it until Christmas.
I agree. Gift secrets are forgivable. Although I wouldn't emphasize it by having that box sitting out on Christmas morning. Get rid of the box so she never associates it with you again.
This exact thing happened to me a few years ago in october with the dora house misc. my daughter was heartbroken, and we had just moved so I told her it was an empty box from moving. I decided to wrap them and have them be from her sibblings not from santa. Christmas morning she walked out and started crying santa didn't bring it to her, she could care less about all the doll stroller, crib, and swing set that was in front of her, it broke my heart. She did cheer up when she opened them and remembered the box and said "mom you said that was empty" she was three and remembered everything. But was okay with it because she still got them. I told her I waqnted her to be suprised and she smiled and said she was. You never know what to do when things like that come up unexpected with no time to think and ponder what to say or do. Don't you wish life came with a pause button once in a while!
Either way, you are a great mom and I wouln't worry about it. we are all doing the best we can right?!?
I think it's an inevitable part of the growing up process...that figuring out that our parents are fallible, you know? I don't think it's possible to raise our kids telling the whole truth all of the time. It would do more harm than good, you know? It would make her far more miserable to know the kitchen was there but that she couldn't have it yet.
Yeah.... about that I would say its more of keeping a secret than telling a lie. But maybe I'm just trying to justify my little lies.
Besides the fact that we lie about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, I think it's ok to tell her that wasn't a gift for her. Come Christmas morning, she'll get over it once she sees it!
Try not to take it too hard!
I agee with everyone else. I would've done the same thing, but I think I would've seen it more as teasing rather than lying.
telling white lies, when and why to do it , is part of learning .
Every person, unless they are total jek heads, will say yes MIL I am using that skin removing scream inducing epi-lady you saved two months to get me, and, no recently gave birth best friend, you do not look fat in that
When it comes to present for Christmas and birthdays I think all bets are off. It would have ruined her surprise if you had told her. She'll be so thrilled when she sees it there Christmas morning.
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