Friday, November 02, 2007

Bad Mommy
I sent my 8 year old to school today in tears. Big, hot, streaming tears. He has gotten into a terrible habit of dawdling. Just one example: he was supposed to be brushing his teeth. He turned the water on so that it was just dripping one drop at a time. I don't know how long it took him to get the faucet just right, but after 5 minutes he was still brushing his teeth. Yesterday I caught him watching TV when he was supposed to be doing homework. If he has something unpleasant to do (like homework) he suddenly has to go to the bathroom - for half an hour. I could go on and on.
Today he has a friend coming over and so he needed to practice piano this morning. He had an hour to get ready and do piano. That is PLENTY of time. He took 20 minutes in the bathroom, 15 minutes to eat two pieces of toast, 15 minutes in the shower, and of course there was the 5 minutes of teeth brushing. The other 5 minutes? Random wandering and playing with Baby Girl. I lost it. I grounded him for next week. No playing. No TV. No PlayStation. Which is why there were tears.
I'M TIRED OF TRYING TO GET HIM TO MOVE!!! Sigh... I am not going to reverse the grounding... I feel like he took his own sweet time to get out of piano practice. But I need ideas on how to help him move a little faster. I've tried timing him - doesn't work. I have used bribes, but I hate doing that and after awhile, they loose their charm. Nagging, of course, is supremely counter productive. Red is an obedient kid, in his own sweet time. I need some suggestions on how to help him get his rear in gear before I ground him for the rest of his life!!

10 comments:

Heather said...

I have the same issues with Kaden. I think our hour yesterday getting ready for preschool was exactly the same (he even ate toast) as yours.

I finally decided he would only learn by being late, even though it killed me not to be on time. he doesn't want to miss any part of preschool.

So for one day I'm safe- whether or not it lasts is yet to be seen. I realize my situation is different that yours, but good luck cuz IT IS SO FRUSTRATING!!

Kimberly said...

Alas, I was the same kind of kid. The embarrassment of being late and missing out on stuff is what finally got through to me.

Dedee said...

When you figure it out, let me know! I wake my kids up extra early just so I don't have to fight part of it. It doesn't totally solve the problem.

I also set down specific rules and then on top of that the chores have to be done or he doesn't get dinner. It helps at least get it done.

Holly said...

I don't have the morning issues, but I have the chore issues and them getting their responsibilities done. It's like one constant nag session when they get home from school.

JustRandi said...

I hear ya there. We do that with church and dawdling girls. The embarrassment of going in late and sitting in the very front has helped considerably.
I think Heather's right. He's probably just going to have to miss a few things before he catches on.
It's a hard thing from either side.

Anonymous said...

Hey Melissa~ Look at me! I'm commenting now. I am NOT a stalker! But I just had to put my two cents in on this one. Keaton was really bad like that, but has outgrown it. Carson now is doing it REALLY BAD! I'm hoping he'll outgrow it too. I think it's an age thing. Unfortunately, the only thing that seems to work is to get down on his level , put on my psycho mom face, and yell. Awful, huh?

so grateful to be Mormon! said...

the bathroom trick works!

diana said...

i really don't have expertise or experience (atleast that i can remember). would rewards help? maybe tell him he can have something/a treat if he does everything he's supposed to do in the time he's given. or use the point system. he gets points for being timely and points taken away for not getting things done in the time alotted. he could be working towards something he really wants. just some ideas off the top of my head. good luck.

Nancy Face said...

I wish I had some brilliant advice for you, but my 12-year-old son is just like that! I just have to nag and remind him constantly, and try to keep my voice as kind and patient as possible. He means well, but he is easily distracted and forgets what must be done! (Sigh!)

slyn said...

This is my house every morning. When my daughter was younger I used to do this crazy thing that totally worked, it might be worth a try. I talked to her hands and then to her feet and told them they needed to be really fast and finish their jobs. Then I'd tell her hands and feet it was time to get things done and I'd cheer them on. I guess it made it more of a game and it was fun for her and it was very silly. You think I'm crazy now don't you?