Sunday, May 17, 2009

She's Baaaaaaaaack....
So, MARISSA wanted me to share another little story with you. Do you remember Marissa? If not, you must go read about her here. Laugh like a maniac and then come back. Don't worry. We'll wait for you.
Anyway, Marissa has learned another great life lesson and thought she'd share it with you all. As you remember, the last lesson was "Go to the bathroom before you leave the house... no matter what." Today's lesson is "Don't ever, ever, ever, ever try to quadruple a recipe when you are...
a. really tired
b. in a big hurry
c. your children are awake
d. you're just not good at math
e. all of the above"
Unfortunately, Marissa falls into the "e" category.
She was up late last night and then didn't sleep well (stupid neighbor dogs).
She hadn't left herself enough time to really undertake a baking project this morning.
Her children kept running in and asking life or death questions such as "Can we watch the Gummi Bears?" (do you remember that show?) or "Do I have to shower today?".
And let's face it - Marissa is really bad at math. Basic addition still stumps her.
All of these factors should have been clues for Marissa to forget the whole idea, but she REALLY wanted zucchini bread. So, she ignored all the warning signs and went blazing ahead.
She was supposed to add 2 cups of the following ingredients: sugar, brown sugar, and oil. In her hurried state she added 4 cups of each of those ingredients. ACK! On top of that, she didn't add enough baking soda or flour.
Do you know what happens when you do such a thing? Neither do I. But MARISSA DOES! You end up with bricks. Sugary, nasty, burnt on the outside, gooey and gloppy on the inside, bricks.
And the extra batter that was thrown in the freezer? Well it won't freeze. Why? BECAUSE IT'S GOT TOO MUCH DARN OIL IN IT!!
Marissa is a tad frustrated and really annoyed that she didn't get any zucchini bread today. But I told her she probably wasn't alone in her baking mishap. I'm sure there are others out there who have had troubles of their own... right? Um... anyone? Please... feel free to share...


diana said...

hahaha... poor marissa =)

i don't bake all that much, because when i do, i usually have forgotten to get one of the ingredients. i can't tell you how many times i've done that. there's been times my baked goods haven't turned out so well. maybe it was because i didn't get the ingredients right. or maybe i'm just a bad baker =/

Nancy Face said...


Zucchini bread is the yummiest and happiest stuff, but zucchini BRICKS don't sound happy at all! :(

Someone once gave me a fudge recipe, claiming that it was the genuine See's chocolate fudge recipe. After successfully making it a couple times, I am convinced that they were telling the truth! But it's a finicky recipe...sometimes it turns out perfect and scrumptious, and other times it turns into several pounds of greasy brown glop, and you have no idea why it happens! This was the case last Valentine's Day. I THOUGHT we'd give lovely plates of fudge to our kids, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have wanted the greasy brown glop that we ended up with! FOOLISH!

Jillybean said...

Wow. So sorry for your friend Marissa. I wonder if she knows my friend "Phyllis" (I call her Phil for short)
Anyway, "Phil" likes to set the bread machine at night so that in the morning, her family has nice hot bread for breakfast.
"Phil" makes bread in the breadmaker so often that she has the recipe memorized, and this is why it's such a mystery how she put in less than half the water called for in the recipe, and in the morning her family found a pan full of hot, crumbly flour for breakfast.
"Phil" also made a lovely cake for Mother's day. She misread the ingredients on the box and put in 1 1/2 cups of vegetable oil instead of the 1/2 cup marked clearly on the back of the box.
You should have seen her using a teaspoon to spoon out as much oil as she could while trying to leave as much cake mix in the bowl as possible. (fortunately, she discovered her mistake before she actually mixed in the oil)

Anonymous said...

Corn Starch and baking powder look totally alike. When you buy in bulk and then put them in similar containers it is just possible to get them mixed up.... so if you happen to make sugar cookies with corn starch they taste 'funny' AND if you hurry and repeat the recipe and make the SAME mistake before you figure out what you are doing, they taste 'funny' the second time too.... LOL Dad still ate them!! :o)

flip flop mama said...

Give Marissa my condolences on the zucchini bread. Quadrupling the recipe of anything would be hard! Too funny though!

Jean Knee said...

the first time (and only by the way) I baked bread the loaves came out like boulders. That night we saw a nightmare on elm street. I was afraid to go to bed so my good frien told me to take the bread to bed with me and I could pound any boogiemen to death with it. such support, such caring

Kimberly said...

Poor, poor Marissa! She has such a rough time of it!

Adena and Greg said...

I feel Marissa's pain. Usually it's the other way around with me. I cut recipes in half quite often (when I'm cooking for Brayden). And I almost never get it right.

Yvonne said...

Zucchini bread is one of my favorites--sorry. I don't think I could quadruple a recipe ; )

Amber said...

Tooo funny. Reminds me of the time when I was around 9 and put in 1 cup of ginger instead of 1 tsp into some cookies.

They didn't turn out. :-)

i said...

hey....i need an evil twin.

her name would be juree. she'd be the one responsible when the kids were dipping the care bear in the toilet. :)

Bonnie the Boss said...

One time I forgot to put flouer in the cake batter, very rubbery, not yummy!