Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Just Keepin it Real: A Cautionary Tale
I have a story to tell about...um... a friend of mine. Yeah. That's it. And her name is... uh... her name is Marissa! Yep. That's her name alright! Anyway, Marissa had some family visiting. One day the family decided that they wanted to go for a hike. Marissa got all the kids ready and made sure that they went to the bathroom before they left. But, she forgot to send herself to the little girl's room and by the time they got to the trail head she had to go... BADLY. Of course, there was no porta-potty or outhouse type structure. Marissa had never wished to be a boy till this very moment in time. But that's besides the point. Anyway, she sent the rest of the party on ahead and took off into the bushes. She found a lovely spot and ... wow. What a relief! Till she stumbled just a bit... she's not used to squatting, you know. Anyway, there was a dead tree branch behind her behind (ha!) and she kinda fell onto it. Now, this dead tree wasn't all nice and smooth... no. It was rough and very brittle. It broke. Marissa caught herself before she fell all the way to the ground, but not before that branch left a lovely splinter in her rear end. Have you ever had a small piece of wood in your bottom? Yeah... um... me neither. But MARISSA has! And she told me that it hurt pretty bad. Luckily, she was able to get it out in the end (ha!ha!).
So, the moral of this story? Go potty before you leave the house... but if you have to pee in a bush, check for items that may impede the process. Oh, and you should probably start doing squats to build up those leg muscles, just in case. Learn from Marissa's mistake... I know I have...

19 comments:

Attic Gal Alysa said...

Ha. Ha. Ha. You have me cracking up over here. hahahahah...

Yvonne said...

Poor, Marissa--please tell HER how sorry I am.

Enjoy family.

Jodi said...

hahaha! Hilarious!!!

Kristina P. said...

Haha! I was laughing through this whole post! In a nice way, of course.

Shannan said...

Ha ha! I am still laughing, but not at poor Marissa, with her. I am sure she will be laughing about it someday!

Christy said...

Hope Marissa is healing up nicely!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

This was like a public service announcement from someone that I have never, ever met. Thank goodness that we can learn from the mistakes of strangers!

-Francesca

PS: If Marissa could do a follow-up post and let us all know how to accomplish the feat of removing a splinter that you cannot see, that would be great.

Kimberly said...

On the plus side, your blog looks GREAT!

Hee hee!

i said...

poor marissa. i pt off going more than my 4 y o! i relate to marissa!

Tonya said...

Poor Marissa, tell her that her lesson has been noted for future reference. How brave of her to tell us all so we could learn from her mistake.

diana said...

oh... how funny. you crack me up. we can all learn from marissa's mistake =)

Karen said...

Been there done that. Tell Marissa she should also watch out for poison ivy when she does her business in the great outdoors.

Heather said...

That's hilarious! Hope Marissa's back end is resting nicely.

Attic Gal Rachelle said...

You have some very interesting friends. But Marissa, I don't know if I want to meet her. Hahaha

Attic Gal Rachelle said...

You have some very interesting friends. But Marissa, I don't know if I want to meet her. Hahaha

Jean Knee said...

they make pee cup things so you, uh Marissa, can pee standing up

Holly said...

LOL!!! Snicker... I mean, wow. So sorry for Marissa... Snicker...LOL!!!!

camfox said...

funny!

Nancy Face said...

I feel kind of bad for laughing...:D