Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Enough
First of all... the blog is REALLY close to looking the way I want it. I wanted to change the belt to this little wavy line thing, but every time I mess with the widget HTML, Blogger gives me an error message. I'll try again today. **update...fixed it! FINALLY!!** I did finally get the backgrounds the way I wanted them. If you came here within the first few moments of my messing with it, then you would have seen yellows, oranges, teals, olive greens, and pinks. I'm sure that somewhere a rainbow was weeping.

Anyway, yesterday turned out to be... well, I don't know what yesterday was. One of my best friends from high school had a tragedy in her life. Her younger brother committed suicide. I knew this kid. Their family grew up just across the street from us. He was the typical little brother who did his best to bug us whenever he could. We, in turn, tormented him. As we grew up the teasing continued on both sides, but never in a mean way. I joked with him and he tried to get his big sister's friends to laugh. I remember seeing him at a gas station a couple of years ago and we visited for awhile. He was a good kid.

Fast forward to now... he was 28. A husband. A dad. Yesterday he found enough reasons to take his own life. And no one has any idea why.

I was pretty out of it yesterday. By the evening I just wanted something mind numbing to do. I played video games. But that wasn't enough to stop the wheels in my brain from spinning. Why would he do this? What was his thinking? Were things really so bad? Why? Why? Why? The truth is, I don't know his demons. I can't judge him or his actions. I don't know what he was dealing with. But I did have a thought that struck me...

I can't understand why anyone would take their own life because I can look around and find enough reasons to live. For whatever reason, he could no longer see those things. We have our troubles and I may whine and complain, but overall, the good overshadows my life in a really big way. And for that, I am truly grateful.

My heart goes out to this family. They have been amazing friends to me and my family through the years. I can't be there with them right now and that makes me crazy. I want to hug them and try to give comfort somehow. But I'm over 900 miles away. For now the only thing I can do is make a few phone calls, send a card with my love, pray for them, and hope that somehow, it's enough.

16 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Suicide is ALWAYS a tragedy, no matter how old the person is, but when they are young, it just seems so senseless!

And I like your blog look!

flip flop mama said...

Suicide is so hard to wrap our minds around. It is so sad. I hope that you and his family can find some peace through this. My heart goes out to his family.

Yvonne said...

I am so sorry. What a tragedy. You are so right--we can't judge--we just never know what a person is really going through.

I'm sure it means a great deal to their family to know you love them and are praying for them.

Yvonne said...

I really like the new look of the blog.

i said...

so so sorry :(

Heather said...

You just never know what people are going through. I'm so sorry.

"J" said...

I wanted to let you know I posted about my swap box!!!!! =)

Thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo very much!!!!! I love it!!!!!!!

JustRandi said...

Melissa, I'm so sorry. It's so hard when things happen like that. I'll keep you and them in my t's and p's.

wynne said...

I think you're right with your insight. Maybe for him the bad just overwhelmed the good. I'm sorry for his wife and family, and how betrayed they might be feeling...oh, heavens. What a sad, sad thing.

Tonya said...

You are blog-talented and it looks lovely and so you.

I can't imagine how much pain his family must be in. How very sad. I've never been able to understand how hopeless someone must be to reach the point where they take their own life. Like you said, who knows what deamons were haunting him .

Magirk said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. :-(

Unfortunately, I do know what it's like to feel yourself up on that ledge, making the decision.

Fortunately, I know what it's like to make the decision to live. And fortunately, I am much better at seeing the reasons to live, in spite of how crazy hard life is sometimes. I wouldn't give it up for anything now. Even the hard moments.

My heart goes out to your friends. So sorry.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

I am so, so sorry to read your news, Melissa. At times like these, there really are no words. Hopefully, even though you may be divided by distance, you be able to be the support that your friend needs.

All my best,
Francesca

Tausha said...

First-the blog looks super cute. I wish that I could figure out how to do this techy stuff. I am so not smart that way. My kids love the snowman song on your blog. Too funny.
When I was in high school, one of my friends commited suicide. I was one of the last people to see her and talk to her before she died. I was supposed to go and hang out with her the night before it happened, but something came up and I didn't go. Man, that was hard. I felt so guilty for a long time. I kept thinking what if......the only thing that got me through was knowing that I would see her again. What peace the plan of salvation brings. Your friendship and prayers are helping the family so much. So sorry about your loss. Death is so hard, no matter the circumstances.

Ps-totally off the subject. When you get a second, go and look at my etsy shop. I just set it up.
I made the cutest VT kits. I am going to do a giveaway. I will post it sometime today.
Hope that you have Sweet sweetheart day!

Amber said...

I just feel sad, sad, sad whenever I hear a story like this. She much left unresolved for those he left behind and so sad to think he couldn't copy anymore. Prayers for that poor family.

Kimberly said...

Oh honey...how your heart must be hurting on behalf of your dear friends! =(

diana said...

i'm so sorry that you received such tragic news. i think you hit the nail on the head, tho... it's when someone can't find any happiness and the only answer they can find is to end it all. it is so very tragic.