Mejojac's Memos

It's Not Easy Being Green
I know that being green is a good thing. We recycle, turn our thermostat to 81 during the day, yell at the offspring to turn off lights, shut doors and close the refrigerator. I'm doing my part but, I'm not an extremist. For example: I've never chained myself to a tree that was about to be cut down. I don't belong to E.L.F. (Earth Liberation Front). And, I'm not as extreme as the women who have decided not to have kids because children aren't "eco-friendly". I won't be following in any of those carbon-less footsteps any time soon. Why? Well, let me tell you ...
Reason #1 - I don't own any chains. The strongest material I own is yarn... perhaps I could crochet myself to the tree... would that work?
Reason #2 - I don't look good in hats. Especially Elf hats. And I have never been able to use spray paint without it dribbling all over the place. I'm seriously lacking in graffiti skillz.
Reason #3 - I already have kids. The only way to really change that would probably land me in jail for 3 life sentences. So, you know, I'll just keep them around for now.
Reason #4 - I've found a better solution! Yep - I know how to go green without attaching myself to a redwood, blowing things up to send a message, or reducing the size of our family. My idea? Stop doing all housework.
Just think about it for a minute...

Laundry: The average washing machine uses 22 gallons of water for each load. On average, I do
6-8 batches each week. That's 132-176 gallons of water each week! And then you have the energy to run the washer and dryer.

Dishes: Again, the average dish washer uses 9-12 gallons. We do at least one batch a day... which adds up to 63-84 gallons each week. And then there's the electricity to run the machine. I know I could do them by hand, but that's an average of 20 gallons of water each time.

Cleaning the bathroom: I have to have the lights on to see all the filth in there. Plus, all the chemicals I dump everywhere so that the creatures lurking in the nooks and crannies will die. And then, there's the water used to wash those chemicals down the drain.

These are just a few examples. But I think you get the gist of the idea. We should all try to do our best to take care of our planet.
If you've got chains and a local tree to strap yourself to, go for it.
If you think burning things to the ground will make a point, well, um, go see a psychiatrist.
If you're going to get rid of your children, I'll send you cookies while you sit in jail.
But really, I think the no housework plan is a viable option. So, put down that mop. Throw away your cleaning supplies. Forget about the laundry. And do your part to save Mother Earth!