Mejojac's Memos

Just Keepin it Real: A Cautionary Tale
I have a story to tell about...um... a friend of mine. Yeah. That's it. And her name is... uh... her name is Marissa! Yep. That's her name alright! Anyway, Marissa had some family visiting. One day the family decided that they wanted to go for a hike. Marissa got all the kids ready and made sure that they went to the bathroom before they left. But, she forgot to send herself to the little girl's room and by the time they got to the trail head she had to go... BADLY. Of course, there was no porta-potty or outhouse type structure. Marissa had never wished to be a boy till this very moment in time. But that's besides the point. Anyway, she sent the rest of the party on ahead and took off into the bushes. She found a lovely spot and ... wow. What a relief! Till she stumbled just a bit... she's not used to squatting, you know. Anyway, there was a dead tree branch behind her behind (ha!) and she kinda fell onto it. Now, this dead tree wasn't all nice and smooth... no. It was rough and very brittle. It broke. Marissa caught herself before she fell all the way to the ground, but not before that branch left a lovely splinter in her rear end. Have you ever had a small piece of wood in your bottom? Yeah... um... me neither. But MARISSA has! And she told me that it hurt pretty bad. Luckily, she was able to get it out in the end (ha!ha!).
So, the moral of this story? Go potty before you leave the house... but if you have to pee in a bush, check for items that may impede the process. Oh, and you should probably start doing squats to build up those leg muscles, just in case. Learn from Marissa's mistake... I know I have...